Round 5: I Don't Have To Show Off, I Just Have To Show UP.

[Monica Padilla]

Things to talk about this round:

- Caleb is a bastard
- Fuck Tracy and Russell Swan
- Becoming a Britney Spears fan in five minutes
- Previous season PTSD

[Monica Padilla]

So, going into the swap round, Ashley and I had a good long heart to heart about our tribe and trying to figure out a plan. I had no idea how to feel about that, because Ashley isn't someone I particularly like or trust. I think it's because she's from Australia, and that's one of the things that really triggers me. I only know three or four Australians, one of them is a guy who blindsided me harder than I've ever been blindsided, one is a guy called Racer who's one of the few people who can consistently dominate me in challenges, one of them is Spencer from last season, who overplayed and seemed really sketchy all the time, and the fourth is beloved serial pregamer, Rob-hater, and suicide cult leader Kerri. So Australia's batting 4-0 in the Me No Like department. Was that a valid reason to start targeting Ashley the second she revealed that she's from Queensland? 

...Well, no. Absolutely not. That's a ridiculous and terrible reason, and I should be ashamed of myself. I mean... I'm not, but I should be.  

Anyway, the point to all of this is that I go and tell Caleb that I think Ashley's the mole. I actually don't think that, because I'm pretty sure it's Caleb or Joaq, but I figured hey, golden opportunity to rid myself of a fifth entry on the Crimes Australia Has Committed Against Me Personally list. Caleb expressed an unreasonable amount of doubt about this possibility, and suggested that we should just watch closely and see whether Ashley does anything suspicious. This was a pretty bizarre reaction, coming from a guy who thinks Kelly is secretly masterminding everything during her weekly three-day sojourns at the Buddhist monastery, or wherever it she goes when she's busy never being here. If you're innocent, why are you suddenly really defensive about how it couldn't be Ashley? 

Naturally I decided to be a good ally and completely ignore this highly suspicious set of circumstances. After all, nobody's ever loyal to me, and when they are people accuse them of being mind-controlled by me, because apparently it's impossible for people to like me and want to work with me in any relational capacity that you wouldn't find in, say, a BDSM get-together. (Or hangout, or orgy, whatever those weirdos call their meet-ups. I wouldn't know). Anyway, the point is, I just naturally assume my allies aren't really with me, because it's easier and probably smarter for them to be with other people. If I stopped to worry about every little sign of betrayal, I'd never get anything done because it would be happening all the freaking time. 

So I just figure, eh, Caleb wants to keep his options open. No big deal. 

Then Ashley and I have our heart to heart, and wouldn't you know it, Caleb has deals with everyone. Every single person on the tribe. And he formed his alliance with Ashley by telling her that some random person on our tribe accused her of being the mole. I don't think he told Ashley that it was me (but if he did and she's hilariously keeping that under wraps, serious props to her), which led to a hilarious conversation where Ashley pointed out that anybody who seriously thinks she's the mole is an idiot, and I had to truthfully and awkwardly agree, despite being the person who started that rumor in the first place. 

We had a good long talk, and exposed a lot of the ways in which Caleb and Joaq were playing our whole tribe for chumps. I feel a lot closer to Ashley as a result.  

And now she wants to work together and make plans and be BFFs, which is cool, except that the entire basis for the alliance is that we're both Britney Spears fans. Apparently my challenge skills and trustworthy interpersonal manner weren't quite as valuable as my taste in 90's/early 00's pop music when it came right down to it. 

You all know where this is going. 

I don't remember intentionally turning on a radio for the purpose of listening to music at any point in my life until... 2003. It's safe to say I have little or no understanding of Miss Spears or her music career, although I do remember thinking she was pretty hot, because teenager. Our alliance is based around the post I made in the pregame challenge thread where I mockingly pointed out that I was a big fan of Britney SpeRARS also. 

So I have a new alliance and F2 partner thanks to a poorly-executed attempt to mock a spelling mistake, and I have to pretend to be a Britney Spears fan to keep the momentum going. Still a better love story than Twilight? I guess? 

In other news, Tracy's quit was obnoxious, but I'm not going to complain about it any more than I already have. I maintain that the Russell Swan thing was completely different and shouldn't be considered a precedent, but I can see why other people would think that it wasn't and should. So, no more whining from me. 

Right now I'm really hoping that I can actually connect with the new people on my tribe. I'm having horrible flashbacks to Amazon, where my new tribe was somehow even worse than my old one - and that is saying something, considering that my old tribe contained Andrea "Beige Paint" Boehlke. So far I'm cautiously optimistic, since Rudy and Tyson both seem cool. I'm more than a little miffed about Jaclyn's existence, though. She's using an old AIM and I know exactly who she is. I've yet to see her play a game where her role consisted of anything other than unwarranted self-praise and inactivity, and I'm not really expecting anything different here. Nothing irritates me like people who reuse AIMs for alias games (which come to think of it, Rudy might be doing? I didn't actually look at his AIM but I've seen this exact shtick before), and it definitely puts Jaclyn in my crosshairs sooner rather than later. Right now all we need to succeed is for our tribe to not commit suicide on one another, but with Kelly having been openly stigmatized for her complete lack of a social game in the early days, it's entirely possible we're still going to get screwed. 

Right now, I'd just rather win and let Joaq, Caleb, and Alec get cut loose. I like the guys, but Alec's marginally active and Joaq and Caleb are snakes (and probably the mole), so getting those complications out of the way shouldn't be too terrible for me in the long run. Of course, that does mean that Aras, Nick, Jeremiah and Kelly are going to be a force to be reckoned with when the merge hits, but we all know I'm going to be first juror anyway so I don't plan on worrying about it too much. 

[thenavneet]

Racer <3
Also Kerri is from NZ.

[imfeelinrusty]

HOLT SHIT MONICA YOU WERE ALEXIS?!?! NO FUCKING WAY!!!! I WAS DAN <3

[Monica Padilla]

Oct 15, 2015 6:03:43 GMT thenavneet said:

Racer <3
Also Kerri is from NZ.

Racer <3

I'd love him more if I could beat him more often. Although, I do always have Palawan <3 

And, I can't reasonably be expected to memorize the RL locations of people who stalk me all over the ORGverse to talk shit about me in PW lounges, and then wonder why I'm so damn negative all the time. 

[thenavneet]

Oct 15, 2015 19:20:16 GMT Monica Padilla said:

Oct 15, 2015 6:03:43 GMT thenavneet said:

Racer <3
Also Kerri is from NZ.

Racer <3

I'd love him more if I could beat him more often. Although, I do always have Palawan <3 

And, I can't reasonably be expected to memorize the RL locations of people who stalk me all over the ORGverse to talk shit about me in PW lounges, and then wonder why I'm so damn negative all the time. 

... Racer was Palawan Spencer???

[Monica Padilla]

Yes.

[Monica Padilla]

Basically how I imagine Hmong reacting to this challenge.

[Jaclyn]

Racer <3